The Man I Should Be

This is my prayer response to Psalm 15. Hit me like a hammer…

Psalm 15:1 Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?

Lord, I really want to be a man who is close to You. I don’t want to visit You on weekends, or keep in touch with You throughout the day. I want to ‘dwell’ with You. To walk with You, and run with You, to serve You with a passion up close and personal. To live on Your holy hill would be to finally arrive. Lord, may my eulogy include these words… “He dwelled with God.”

2 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart

Your word is clear, if I am to dwell with You, there are some standards You have for Your traveling companions. Blameless is not a word I would use to describe me… ever. Even by comparison to other human beings I clearly see my frailties and faults. But, I am overwhelmed that You see me through two different lenses. These are ways that I cannot begin to see myself, but I am continually overjoyed that You see me. First, You see my effort. Like a child learning to walk You do not expect me to run as an Olympic athlete. You cheer and support and pick me up when I fall, so long as I am running towards You and not away. Still, even when I run away… You chase me. Second, although I never have been blameless and seldom speak the truth of my heart, You see me through the veil of Jesus Christ. So, to You, I am as blameless as Your Son. I could not be more grateful.

3 and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman,

To dwell near You Lord, I need to dwell well near others. Correct my tongue and keep me from speaking the things that would never come out of Your mouth. Let me live toward my neighbors as one that embraces Your Golden Rule, who generously breaths out the benefit of the doubt to all and who breaths in peace and unity at all costs. God, please let my life before others never be a hindrance to my life with You.

4 who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the Lord, who keeps his oath even when it hurts,

May I be sickened in my stomach by the same things that sicken You. Evil, thievery, judgementalism, dishonesty, brokeness and pain. May I not be able to stand the things that You will not stand for, and may my fear and reverence for You lead me to action, passion, purpose and plans, again and again. Let my courage not waver in the face of Your adversary, embolden me to pick up where others leave off and challenge me with carry the banner that You place in my hands that I might run to the center of the battlefield. When it costs too much, when it risks everything, when it defies all logic, when the pain is too great… may I keep my oath, even when it hurts.

5 who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken.

Let me not find comfort in acting as others do, allowing compromise to make me greedy, proud or mean; at least, not more than I already am. May I never take a thing at the expense of another, even if it’s “Just the way it is” and “Everybody else is doing it.” May I value others as highly as You do, may I never be shaken by the empty promises of a broken world, and may I always value my testimony above anything else this world can offer. It’s the only personal picture I have of You. Lord, let me never sell out; for I am already purchased.

God I truly want to dwell with You. And, I know that I have slummed with my sorrows and camped out with my sins. But, I am ready to change my life. I am ready to live for You. I am ready to live in You.

I am ready to be the man I should be.

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