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- People who don\u2019t believe in God think I\u2019m a fool and blow me off… I get it.<\/li>\n
- People who don\u2019t appreciate my church (style) think I am a heretic and must keep their distance or they might get something on them… I\u2019m used to that.<\/li>\n
- People who disagree with my theology and politics think I am an ignoramus who couldn\u2019t even understand them if they spoke in grunts… ugh, ugh.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
I\u2019m not talking about those relationships. I am smart enough to know and a big enough boy to accept the fact that I will never be everybody\u2019s favorite. In fact, if you ever are loved by everyone then you either are an incredible actor juggling a massive volume of deceptive relationships, a looney toon with a variety of multiple personalities, or you\u2019re the anti-christ… honestly, any of those are bad, right?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m talking about fellow church members, or well, former church members.
\nIt happens. People move on and go from one church to another, it\u2019s a reality and we\u2019re grown ups. We can deal with it!<\/p>\nLet\u2019s not argue the merits of long term commitments, the value of community loyalty, or the damage of flippant relationships and decisions. We\u2019ll save that for another time, and just concede that people take the leap and move from one church to another.<\/p>\n
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- Maybe all their friends go somewhere else and they really need church to fulfill a social need that Twitter just wasn\u2019t meeting.<\/li>\n
- Maybe music is so important God can only be where Gaither music is sung… you know they both start with G.<\/li>\n
- Maybe the last sermon totally offended them because they finally realized the Bible was talking to them and not everyone else.<\/li>\n
- Maybe they came to the conclusion that they wanted a church that was bigger, smaller, more medium-sized… no… just right… and found a new home at St Goldilocks.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
There are a thousand reasons people move from one church to another, but can we just be grown ups and admit… for whatever reason… that\u2019s why we left!<\/p>\n
What I have experienced over the years is that people struggle with feelings of guilt or embarrassment when they leave a church. Maybe they feel a little selfish, or maybe they feel like they are leaving their \u2018ex\u2019 in a lurch. To cope with it, they deny the real reasons they chose to separate and justify themselves by demonizing their former church and pastor.<\/p>\n
It happens in churches of all sizes, styles and denominations, because it\u2019s not a church thing, its a people thing. A psychological and sociological phenomenon called blame shifting.<\/p>\n
Junior high students do it with their homework: \u201cThe dog ate it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
Young adults do it in their dating: \u201cIt\u2019s not me, it\u2019s YOU!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
And, church members do it in transferring their membership: \u201cThat pastor\u2019s just not deep\/spirit-filled\/caring\/pastoral\/entertaining\/biblical\/friendly\/accessible\/handsome enough\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
(Okay, I\u2019ll actually give you that last one… sorry… nothing I can do about it)<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the point: you shouldn\u2019t deify your pastor when you\u2019re there, or demonize him when you\u2019re gone. Because if you put him on a pedestal he will fall, and you don\u2019t have the right to send him to hell, agreed?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m just asking that we all grow up a little. If someone moves on, then move on, but don\u2019t shake the pastor\u2019s hand one week to say good sermon and then convince yourself he\u2019s the devil when you find another church the next week just because you don\u2019t know how to handle running into his family at the store.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t invite people to church one week because you love the Lord and then call them all up after you find another church and say… \u201cDon\u2019t go there anymore, I think they are a cult, my bad\u201d
\nGod uses all kinds of churches, peoples, styles and ministries. Just because you love what you like, doesn\u2019t mean you have to hate what you don\u2019t.<\/p>\nI know my humor here is a little passive aggressive and I apologize, but the intent is sincere. We don\u2019t have to worship in the same place to continue being friends.<\/p>\n
\u201cEphesians 4:4\u00a0There is one body and one Spirit\u2014just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call\u2014 5\u00a0one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6\u00a0one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Let\u2019s be good siblings in Jesus name, and when I see you at Wal-Mart… chill out… Jesus loves us both the same.<\/p>\n
He just thinks I\u2019m more fun… just kidding! It was a joke!! Calm yourself!!!<\/p>\n
Galatians 5:13\u00a0For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14\u00a0For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, \u201cYou shall love your neighbor as yourself.\u201d 15\u00a0But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Let\u2019s have a little courtesy please. I made sure to take a day before I wrote these words. I wanted to be thoughtful, helpful and composed, not reactionary and all FaceBooky. But, I really do think there is an issue of etiquette and courtesy that should be addressed. Yesterday, I got totally snubbed at Wal-Mart. … <\/p>\n