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<\/p>\nDealing with conflict.<\/p>\n
Everyone deals with it, but the question is how do you deal. There are constructive and destructive ways to deal with almost anything including conflict, criticism and stupidity.<\/p>\n
Hmm\u2026 that last descriptor is less from my Bible Study and more from the movie I just caught last night: GI JOE.<\/p>\n
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I so loved it. I was 11 again.<\/p>\n
If one of the JOEs ran into conflict they\u2019d blow it up, punch it in the face, or just kill it.<\/p>\n
And, as machismo and testosterone driven as that is (and, oh so appealing for so many situations), I don\u2019t think it\u2019s the answer for the Christ follower in conflict.<\/p>\n
I just can\u2019t imagine Jesus strapping on a fully automatic machine gun with rocket launcher attachment and sneering at his 12-man commando posse as He jumps on the back of camel yelling, \u201cMount up\u201d.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s just wrong, and you know it. Jesus would handle things, differently.<\/p>\n
I saw an example of a Christ-like response in my Bible study the other day and have to replace this teaching with the \u201cYo JOE!\u201d propensity that is within me.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the passage from Acts 21:<\/p>\n
Paul Arrested<\/strong><\/p>\n
27 <\/em><\/sup>When the seven days were nearly over, some Jews from the province of Asia saw Paul at the temple. They stirred up the whole crowd and seized him, <\/em>28 <\/em><\/sup>shouting, \u201cMen of Israel, help us! This is the man who teaches all men everywhere against our people and our law and this place. And besides, he has brought Greeks into the temple area and defiled this holy place.\u201d <\/em>29 <\/em><\/sup>(They had previously seen Trophimus the Ephesian in the city with Paul and assumed that Paul had brought him into the temple area.) <\/em><\/p>\n
30 <\/em><\/sup>The whole city was aroused, and the people came running from all directions. Seizing Paul, they dragged him from the temple, and immediately the gates were shut. <\/em>31 <\/em><\/sup>While they were trying to kill him, news reached the commander of the Roman troops that the whole city of Jerusalem was in an uproar. <\/em>32 <\/em><\/sup>He at once took some officers and soldiers and ran down to the crowd. When the rioters saw the commander and his soldiers, they stopped beating Paul.<\/em><\/p>\n
33 <\/em><\/sup>The commander came up and arrested him and ordered him to be bound with two chains. Then he asked who he was and what he had done. <\/em>34 <\/em><\/sup>Some in the crowd shouted one thing and some another, and since the commander could not get at the truth because of the uproar, he ordered that Paul be taken into the barracks. <\/em>35 <\/em><\/sup>When Paul reached the steps, the violence of the mob was so great he had to be carried by the soldiers. <\/em>36 <\/em><\/sup>The crowd that followed kept shouting, \u201cAway with him!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
[1]<\/sup>The Holy Bible\u00a0 : New International Version, electronic ed. (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1996, c1984), Ac 21:27-36.<\/h6>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This passage contains some of the classic \u2018red flags\u2019 of conflict and ends with an amazing twist. Let’s walk through it.<\/p>\n
First, a little background. Paul had returned to his hometown of Jerusalem knowing there would be some trouble, but when he got there the locals said, \u201cDude, you have NO idea how peaved these people are at you!\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s from the modern translation Andius Barelycorrectomus.<\/p>\n
So, Paul begins to put himself and others through some serious, legalistic, and humbling practices: financial, religious and social sacrifices. He did all this to show his critics he was humble before them and did not want the conflict.<\/p>\n
Seven days later the story unfolds.<\/p>\n
And, as is the case in most conflicts, everything he did to try and pacify his opponents didn\u2019t help a thing. Thus, conflict red flag Number ONE.<\/p>\n
Red Flag Number ONE \u2013<\/span><\/strong> in the heat of conflict people\u2019s minds are seldom ever changed. Once people have taken a stance there is almost no chance of swaying them. Especially if the source of their discomfort is you.<\/p>\n
Facts mean nothing. Truth is what they say it is. And, you are what they believe you are.<\/p>\n
A few years ago Kathy and I removed a chain link fence from our backyard. It took some effort to dig out the posts, but there was one in particular (the corner load bearing post) that really made life difficult.<\/p>\n
We dug and dug and dug. We watered the area and made a huge mud pit. We even hooked up the truck and tried to pull it out. In the end\u2026 I cut off the post with the sawzall\u00a0and its still there today.<\/p>\n
Barely buried in ourbackyard.<\/p>\n
Others may see a slight rise in the yard, a mere bump in the landscape. I see the post that would not move, held by the Devils claws himself, a monument to stubbornness and difficulty for ALL ETERNITY! (pant\u2026 pant\u2026 pant)<\/p>\n
Just like that post, we need to remember that in conflict there is very little we can do to change someone\u2019s mind\/perception if we are the one that infuriates them.<\/p>\n
Red Flag Number TWO \u2013<\/span><\/strong> \u201cThey stirred up the whole crowd and seized him, shouting\u2026\u201d<\/em> Once you go to shouting, the discussion is over. This line from the text shows the emotional nature of conflict, and while there are good emotions like love, peace and hunger. There are destructive emotions as well like anger, malice and hunger.<\/p>\n
(Hunger is good or bad depending on your personal metabolism and that\u2019s why we \u2018hefty\u2019 people hate you skinny people. Hate\u2026 there’s another destructive emotion. Hmm, blog on that later.)<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll always have emotion in everything you do, but once emotion becomes the driving force, you’re in trouble. Rationale and logic are gone!\u00a0They made like a tree and leafed, made like a banana and split, made like a drum and beat it, made like a missile and cruised, made like the Red Sea and split, made like the wind and blew, made like a driver and kept on trucking, made like a bread truck and hauled buns.<\/p>\n
Once emotion takes over, there is very little room for discussion.<\/p>\n
Red Flag Number THREE –<\/span><\/strong> “shouting, ‘Men of Israel, help us!’\u201d<\/em> The third red flag of conflict is all about ally forming. When people are in conflict they try to feel better about their position by seeing how many people they can get on their side. It\u2019s like starting a gang war. You\u2019ve seen it in divorce cases too many times.<\/p>\n
People feel safety in numbers. Even if everyone is headed in the wrong direction, most people feel better if we\u2019re all headed there together. It\u2019s the lemming phenomenon. \u201cWe\u2019re all running off a cliff? You must be crazy, we ALL couldn\u2019t be that stupid. Keep up\u2026 your falling behind!\u201d<\/p>\n