In fact, all through junior high\u2026 and high school\u2026 and college\u2026 I guess my whole life\u2026 I never asked a girl out. At least not the first ask.<\/p>\n
Way too afraid of rejection!<\/p>\n
Consequently, I didn\u2019t date very much and you may be wondering how I ever got married. Just let me say arranged marriages are wonderful!<\/p>\n
Just kidding. My parents could never have afforded the dowry on Kathy.<\/p>\n
In our history Kathy asked me out first (lunch at Long John Silvers, we\u2019ve always been classy), Kathy kissed me first (extremely romantic and no, you can\u2019t know anymore than that), but she did draw the line at the marriage proposal. Apparently, that was my job.<\/p>\n
Even then, after years of friendship and dating, and knowing this was God\u2019s woman for me, I was still chicken.<\/p>\n
I took several dry runs in the month or two preceding our engagement asking questions like, \u201cSo, if I were to ask you to marry me, what would you say?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ah, I can still remember the love and pity in her eye each time I\u2019d ask.<\/p>\n
I think I made up for it though when I finally did ask, it was in front of her whole family (all 97 million of them) at the annual Oklahoma Christmas gathering.<\/p>\n
She was impressed. And, my thought was, \u201cShe can\u2019t say no there!\u201d<\/p>\n
What is it about the vast majority of us that we struggle to take the necessary risks that make life worth living? Not stupid risks, or risks for the sake of risk, but risk that is pointed in the right direction with a real chance of getting us where we need to go.<\/p>\n
The best stuff in my life has come from those white-knuckled moments, griping the railing while your stomach does flip flops and your mind races faster than words can express just before the jump.<\/p>\n
- \n
- Risking marriage when both of us came from broken homes and the success of marriage was highly questionable.<\/li>\n
- Risking career when I switched from journalism to ministry and all of the rolled eyes that told me I was crazy and it was just a phase.<\/li>\n
- Risking everything from financial hardship to decades of stress to potential heartbreak as we decided to become parents.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
All of these were terrifying at the on set, but after taking the leap, I cannot imagine my life without these and a thousand other necessary risks.<\/p>\n
I was challenged by this fact again at a conference I attend annual called The Creative Church Conference (C3<\/a>). Although there were a hundred moments of potential life change, there was one in particular that I could not shake, and I really don\u2019t want to.<\/p>\n
Dr. Sam Chand <\/a>spoke on the 7 areas of capacity we have to enlarge if we want to get out of our
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/one-church.net\/crosseyedlife\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/samchand1a-200x300.jpg\" "\\"samchand1a\\"")
<\/a>spiritual, mental and emotional ruts. We literally have to work on expanding our capacity for these seven things, if we are going to have the capacity to do anything of consequence.<\/p>\nI don\u2019t have the time, space or desire to completely rob Dr. Chand of his material, to discuss all seven areas, but the one that really hit me\u2026 you guessed it: risk capacity.<\/p>\n
Leaders (and I would say anyone who wants to be a liver \u2013 not a bodily organ, but someone who wants to live) have got to intentionally increase their risk capacity.<\/p>\n
How many times have I second-guessed myself, my friends and co-laborers and even my God because I feared rejection, failure or embarrassment? Worse, how many times have I missed the greatest of opportunities, or wasted some serious mileage by circling the airport instead of taking it in and landing that sucker?<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve already seen that the greatest things I have in my life have come from risky decisions, so, why wouldn\u2019t I want to increase my risk capacity? When I do, I increase my capacity to be blessed, move quickly, take new ground and do something with the few years I\u2019ve been given!<\/p>\n
Dr Chand said, \u201cIf you\u2019re 100% sure, you\u2019re already too late. Go play in traffic!\u201d<\/p>\n
When he said those words I felt a fire in my bones. I could look back in the last year or two and see several places where as a pastor I have let my risk capacity shrink to a debilitating place.<\/p>\n
Our church has grown from 140 to 1,700+ in seven years and moved from one campus to a multisite ministry with six campuses in five cities. It\u2019s been awesome, but here we sit 6 weeks before Easter with a huge problem.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re looking at the biggest number in the history of our church headed our way, and we don\u2019t have anywhere to put them. We\u2019ve known about it for months and have talked, prayed, studied, reported and done nothing.<\/p>\n
I feel like a scientist standing on the beach watching a tsunami come in while looking back at the crowd around me only to say, \u201cSee, I told you we were all going to die.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thanks Captain Helpful. Why don\u2019t you take your sidekick Boy Obvious and come up with another brilliant statement of utter fact.<\/p>\n
I can pinpoint at least two times in the last year that we should have taken the risk. But, we didn\u2019t want to offend, move to quickly, not be smart, or\u2026 take a chance.<\/p>\n
Man, I sure hope God gives us another, chance that is. I am so ready to take it.<\/p>\n
Dr. Chand said, \u201cAim, Aim, Aim\u2026 pull the trigger man!\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m ready, are you?<\/p>\n
The Bible is replete with stories of God\u2019s blessing being poured out on those who take risks, or are limited by the too-small capacities of those receiving it.<\/p>\n
- \n
- Luke 5 \u2013 the miraculous catch of fish was awesome, but the nets broke and the boats were sinking. There were a lot more fish in the ocean, but these guys were at their capacity.<\/li>\n
- John 4 \u2013 the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. It\u2019s not about the harvest; it is about the capacity of the harvester.<\/li>\n
- Isaiah 54 – \u201cEnlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities.The Holy Bible : English Standard Version. (Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2001), Is 54:2\u20133.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Dear God, may You forgive us for the times we looked at the wind and waves when we could have been walking on water. And whether its in our career, our ministry or our personal life, please help us to increase our risk capacity so that we may see more of You in us.! Help us to say yes to the things You\u2019d have us say yes to when everything inside of us is screaming no. In Jesus name!<\/em><\/p>\n
I am hopeful that God\u2019s hand of blessing will not have to leave our faith community because we\/I lacked the courage to follow God in the past year or two. I am hopeful that He is still waiting for us feel our heart race, our hair raise and for us to leap into the uncertain! Right where He has been all along.<\/p>\n
A few years ago leaving a men\u2019s conference I had been speaking at, all the guys were shaking hands, packing up and heading out. I heard a hundred times, \u201cSee you soon, be safe.\u201d But, there was one guy (there\u2019s always one guy, isn\u2019t there?) who set the bar a little higher.<\/p>\n
As he said goodbye he kept repeating, \u201cDrive fast, take risks.\u201d<\/p>\n
Do it baby! It’s time to take that risk.<\/p>\n
__________________________<\/p>\n
For what it\u2019s worth, here are some of the highlights from the C3 conference we attended. It was beyond fantastic. Enjoy.<\/p>\n
Bishop TD “Hear God & who cares what anyone else says.”<\/p>\n
Leon Fontaine \u201cWe don’t need to pray down the power of God, we need uninsulated hearts, bare wires exposed to Him & His power for.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ed Young Sr \u00a0“Anybody that’s available all the time isn’t available any of the time (Dr Trueblood) & come apart before you come apart.\u201d<\/p>\n
David Hughes \u201cPastors need to have a big “ask.” Ask people to show up, be generous, the mature to self feed, be loyal, work hard, etc.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ed Young\u00a0 \u201cIf we have been radically rescued, we should rescue radically & the church’s target is not sheeple but lost people.\u201d<\/p>\n