{"id":90,"date":"2008-07-16T10:21:16","date_gmt":"2008-07-16T17:21:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/one-church.net\/wordpress\/?p=90"},"modified":"2008-07-16T10:21:16","modified_gmt":"2008-07-16T17:21:16","slug":"youve-lost-that-loving-feeling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/2008\/07\/16\/youve-lost-that-loving-feeling\/","title":{"rendered":"You&#8217;ve Lost That Loving Feeling"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">God is love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">That\u2019s a statement most of us seem to take without much thought.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>But, what does that mean?<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>It seems to stand in stark contrast to a God of judgment, justice and a world of evil.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Yet, straight from scripture we get these words:<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\"><strong><em><span style=\"mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;\">\ufeffAnd so we know and rely on the love God has for us. <span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span>God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. <\/em><\/strong><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">(The Holy Bible<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>: New International Version. 1996, c1984 (1 Jn 4:16). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">I must admit, it all does seem a bit confusing.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>If God is love and I am even remotely tight with Him, then what\u2019s the deal!<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>Because I am not feeling the love.<!--more--><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">As we see in most cases, I believe the confusion stems from bad definitions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">In this particular case, it\u2019s not so much the definition of God, but the whacked-out definition of love we use.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">My kiddos know that I love them, and that\u2019s why they are baffled that I sometimes act like I do\u2026<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>A little activity I like to call parenting:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">To them it makes absolutely no sense that we do not go to Chuck E Cheese every single day so long as there is money somewhere in the world.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">To them it is asinine that we make them go to school when as parents we have the right to do what ever we want, whenever we want (you can stop snickering now parents).<\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">To them going to work, cleaning the house and brushing our teeth are just silly wastes of time when we could be doing important (AKA fun) stuff.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Truth is if we let our kids run their lives the way they thought they should be run they would all be smelly, nasty, malnutritioned, ignoramuses, selfishly swirling around the drain of their own demise.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Hmmm\u2026.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>I guess that sounds a lot like some of the adults we know, doesn\u2019t it?<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>Well, nothing we can do about them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">No, we often contradict what our kids think would be the loving thing to do for what we know is the right thing to do.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>But, just because it\u2019s not fun, pleasant or preferential choice does that mean that it\u2019s anything less than loving?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">In fact, couldn\u2019t it be that many of the things we do as parents that seem mean, difficult and totally lame (to quote a 1980s teenager) are actually more loving than the actions that are received with joy and to ease?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">I think we have defined love too narrowly.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>Somehow we have made\/defined love as an action that makes someone else feel loved.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>But, acts of love towards other people do not always cause the recipients to feel loved:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Two year-olds being unwillingly tucked into bed<\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Teenagers being issued an abbreviated curfew<\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Spouses being told what must happen if the marriage is going to work<\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Generally these things are not received as acts of love, but they are rather regarded as punishment, discipline and unfair treatment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">I think this is why we tend to misunderstand who God really is.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>God is love, but we\u2019ve made love out to be something too narrow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">If God really loves us, then He is going to provide for us what we really need, and His love will not always be soft and fluffy bunny land!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Some of us need a God who is caring and compassionate to wrap his loving arms around us because we by nature are gentle and fragile.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Some of us need a God who will box us in and keep a tight rein on us because we are wild and spin out of control in an instant.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Some of us need a God who will thump us, hard, on the back of the head because we are thick and sermons, songs and church stuff would never get through to us in a million years.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Some of us need a God who will let us sleep in the bed we have made for a while, because if we are rescued every time will never quit acting stupid.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Each of the scenarios, and a million potential others, are a true display of love.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>But, each display is customized for the needs of that particular loved one and his\/her Lover.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">We often get confused as to why a loving God would let something happen, do something like He did, or seem to not be anywhere around.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>But the truth is, for a God who loves us, those could be some of the most loving moments of all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">When my Noah was just a year or two old he needed to have ear surgery and have a cyst removed from <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright\" style=\"width: 262px; height: 400px; border: 0px;\" src=\"http:\/\/images.quickblogcast.com\/104600-97408\/bigboy.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\" width=\"700\" height=\"962\" align=\"right\" \/>between his eyes.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>The week before the surgery I was a nervous wreck; worrying about any kind of complication, debating the necessity of the procedures and just flat freaking out, an activity in which I have a PhD.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">The day of the surgery came and he was still so small that it was impossible to communicate to him what was happening.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>Because it was real surgery and not just a doctor\u2019s visit, there came a point <span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0<\/span>where we had to tell him \u201cbye bye\u201d and trust him to the doctors hands.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">He was scared, drugged and crying \u2026<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>make that screaming as we left the room.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t know if I have ever had a much more difficult thing to do in this life than I did that day, walking out that door.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Why did I leave him scared, confused and crying out?<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>Was it because the doctors said he wouldn\u2019t get better without the surgery?<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>Was it because the cyst would continue to grow without being removed?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Partly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">The real reason Kathy and I walked out of that room was because we love that little boy more than life itself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">Hanging on to him, rescuing him from the moment and calming his fears would\u2019ve only lead to later pain, hurt and suffering.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">It was the most loving thing we could do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">So we went to a waiting room and cried for 45 minutes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">God is love.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>Much of what you\u2019re going through is not so much a question of who God is and what He\u2019s doing.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s more a question of who you are, and what He has to do to love you as you are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: small; font-family: Calibri;\">You are you, but God is love.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>God is love. That\u2019s a statement most of us seem to take without much thought. But, what does that mean? It seems to stand in stark contrast to a God of judgment, justice and a world of evil. Yet, straight from scripture we get these words: \ufeffAnd so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. (The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (1 Jn 4:16). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.) I must admit, it all does seem a bit confusing. If God is love and I am even remotely tight with Him, then what\u2019s the deal! Because I am not feeling the love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=90"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=90"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=90"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.crosseyedlife.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=90"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}